Just finished my run and am all super sweaty and gross. bet you didn't need to know that. i can just feel the toxins being washed away in sweat. gah. such a gross image.

anyway, i was just reading weemin's blog about the evaluation for camp and i really agree with her. except i think she had to put up with me more than i had to put up with her. after all, i was so worried about the precamp but at least i know now that everything that is being done has to be done carefully and consequences must be thought of behind those actions. i mean, whatever we do, we have to look beyond ourselves and towards the bigger picture. it's not about saying the campers are softies and saying that they have to test their limits. tis true, the limits, but there is always the point where they HAVE no more limits. too numb with pain, too drained to care. seems extreme but your mind at the point of the time of exhaustion is really a powerful thing.

back to the poor weemin thing. sometimes i felt that i was less needed than her. especially during the first day. it SEEMED as though she was handling it and that major decisions were made by her. i felt like i was there to play backup. while i wasn't sure if the campers felt that i was there as backup, i think some of the camp staff did. it just annoyed me greatly that my opinion didn't seemed as valued. plus the first day i was feeling really sick after dinner and everything just snowballed together. i was just looking out watching the campers do their duties outside the den after feeling so super crappy, what with throwing up and everything, and Gladys just passed by and gave me a hug for no good reason. she just hugged me. after she said that clearing rubbish totally sucked. that hug just lightened my mood.

i don't blame anyone for how i felt. the campers certainly gave me enough respect. thing about respect is that, it's earned. it's never given. given unnaturally perhaps but won't it be better to earn respect? and earn it through being fair and understanding, meting out both punishments and rewards as deemed fit? i hope i managed to do that during the camp. seniors yes, why not friends? perhaps i should have told min about how i felt, which i did in little detail, but after the first day and perhaps the second it didn't seem to matter much. perhaps i was also feeling a lot better. don't get offended k min? i still love you lots. haha. (besides it wasn't your fault)

careful planning... the best laid plans of mice and men. you never can tell what will happen, what may happen. i thought i was prepared for the camp but while it was our fault for not sharing the programme details with everyone, there was also a lack of interest in learning about it from others and the last minute information from others.

yup, being a senior is about being responsible. and doesn't mean you graduate or after your enrolment you forget those precious guide laws. because i still remember them and they should not just be words, they are actually quite meaningful and they sometimes guide my actions and thoughts. looking back, i don't see how some can expect so much of others when they can't even set an example for others to follow. empty words. tis true, with great power comes great responsibilty? have your fun but do beneficial stuff as well. guess being called "senior" should mean something, something that you've contributed. ( i sense underlying meaning)

don't do unto others what others have done unto you.

now it sounds high and mighty and perhaps a little hypocritical from some people's point of view. it's not. and i'm entitled to my opinion because i look at the big picture and yes, in case you're wondering, i did evaluation of myself after the camp was over. besides, it's my blog. and who's programme co? lol.

but one thing's clear, though i'm still amazed by it. people will talk about Odyssey like we did Amazon. perhaps it can't be really compared through OUR eyes but it's different in other people's eyes. say whatever you want, it still was a good camp. still filled me with a sense of achievement and pride everytime i reread something to do with camp. and that's good enough for me.

For something other than camp.

Hooray. new year's resolution. do homework before you regret it. stupid history essays which i supposed i have to do one today because if i want to go out and enjoy the post christmas sales i have to finish everything by friday. it's murder trying to go out in the weekend.

still sulking about the countdown party. no one to go with me. so i'm not going. shall celebrate with my nice new bottle of tada! merlot'99! apparently, i thought it was '02 but it wasn't.

still sulking about not having enough money to buy new clothes. and all my stuff.

my mum was going, "shopping again?"
my reply, "christmas shopping over but new year has yet to begin!"
my mum and sis: "-.-;;"

a while later...

my sis, "new year meaning CNY right? not 01/01?"
my reply, "oh yeah, urm... for both then."
my mum's expression clearly said no way. after all, she also wants to go shopping and buy new clothes for herself and not just for us. hahas.

hooked on prince of tennis. i only got until book 7~ i feel like running to kino and buying up the next few books! lovely lovely lovely. ryoma and tezuka are so cute......

my sweat has all dried up. no la, i couldn't take it and went to shower.

i am so lazy. i shall pon school sometime next week. can't wait to go to VJ and squash all the newbies like bugs. ok, i'm not that mean. *squishy squishy* i wonder if that's what past J2s have felt.

oh, do you know there's a cereal that's shaped and looks like chocolate chip cookies, mini-fied version, even tastes like cookies but are not cookies but are cereals? fake cookies! so cute... that reminds me, i've got my coco crunch to eat later. we didn't buy honey stars because i believe they're addictive and i can finish the whole box in a day. it's like Lay's potato chips.

oh, rewatched the Singapore Idol results, and i just kept on thinking, "Sly and Taufik look so good together." half of me was really grossed out but the rabid fanfiction writer in me was having a field day. gah! why am i even thinking of this??? oh, and watch Taufik's I dream video that's showing 31/12/2004 midnight. it looks good from the previews. and really, if you're thinking that i'm seriously obsessed like some rabid fan girl, i'm not. there are people worse than me. and i appreciate talent. and they're good. so stop thinking that i'm mad. i'm just in love with good skills and wonderful vocals.

love Maksim. great piano playing.
love Josh Groban. great voice. super soulful.

i've mentioned more than once that i love guys who are musicians. i shall mention it again.

when i think of something else that's weird, i'll add on. for now, it's time for coco crunch.

Merry Christmas to everyone.

Here's wishing one and all a very merry christmas. May your day be filled with love and joy and friends and family by your side on this blessed day.

Red and Green are supposed to be christmas colours are they not? hence the reddish pink shirt my dad wore to church service today. a bit gay. was super crowded as usual and service started later than usual, 1130! came back home in a hurry cos Cher's friends were coming early. Sotong and Jing Zhi came, then Cassie's family, then Sam Lim, then Natalie. then my aunt and uncle came with Avi and Brannon,(they are so super cute@!) then it was Simon's family and then Daniel's family. somehow we've all changed... some slightly some in more ways than one. somehow this year was easier to get thru than previous years. maybe it gets easier and easier in the years to come. we are obviously, relatives. had good quality wine, sauvignon blanc'99 and merlot'97. only drank that and not the merlot '02 and pinot noir'03 because it somehow seemed strange to drink in front of my family though they know that i drink. just a feeling. and drinks must have standard esp since i will only drink a certain amount and no more cos i don't want to act tipsy in front of my relatives. oh well, there's still a merlot and pinot noir left for new year!

and with christmas gone and past for 2004, sadly comes the math homework and 2 history essays i've been procastinating. and there's still that feeling of melancholy of a day that i've been looking forward for so long that's over. to think that next year on christmas day, i'll be a different person after finishing my As. i'll be one year older la! lol.

present count: 50 bucks tangs voucher from Lau family (mum's side) which after thought as to what they sold decided to put aside for prom stuff but i know i'll most likely use it on scent. Sam and Sotong came me the Maksim Variations CD, thank goodness i didn't buy it that day. and Natalie gave me lip gloss from Red Earth. so pretty good haul plus my comics and art book and 2 CDs. all in all. good stuff.

next year, i'm hoping for scent, comics, CDs and an ipod. and fantastic A level results. like 4 As and a distinction for my S paper. haha. oh, and early admission to study law at Harvard. and we might as well throw in the gift of flight with the list of impossibles. haha.

okay, back away from the materialistic side that is me and embrace the real meaning of christmas.

let's celebrate the birth of Christ.

and unto us, in the city of David a child is born...

He is our Lord and Saviour, Jesus Christ.

Through him our sins are forgiven and we need not fear to run into the arms of the Lord.

Let's share the gift and joy of giving and love with those whom you treasure.

Have a merry blessed christmas everyone.

--please no hangover tomorrow. this year the cap for wine was 6 glasses. and i stuck to that. really.

i think i need to go to bed now.

i ask you if you love me
you smile and say yes
i return your smile with a kiss
forgetting that you never actually say the words

there's happiness
a tingling tugging at my heart
and once twice i ask again
do you love me

but now your smile lacks warmth
a look so cool in your eyes
there's a flash of light so fleeting
a condescending look of annoyance

love lust like
there's only 2 words above that
describe how i feel about you
and none of them is the first

had good times not great times
it was just that a time
and he walked away giving
me a parting kiss as goodbye

-"Tempting the Devil" snippets from chapter 3.

i have finally had an idea for the next chapter. so there is it... chapter 3. a little bit of it. it won't really tell much because that's only a rough sketch of the idea. just look at the title. you know there's more lust than love in the story. which is just really sad.

oh... and i think that people in general, especially those in relationships, should try to say "i love you" to each other at least once each time you meet. or even more frequently. it's not something weird or strange or like a dependence or something, but more of a reassurance and a affirmation. don't leave doubt and space for misinterpretation. there's nothing shameful about saying those 3 words. and i know girls really like hearing those words. haha.

so... some people say love is like friendship and lust. that's kinda interesting don't you think? i believe it may be like that, but it can also be a really beautiful thing. and thank God i'm not that cynical yet that i can't appreciate a good romantic movie.

going swimming later with my sister. she's stop with the whole giving me that stupid excuse that she's allergic to chlorine. *snorts* now... back to the world of math.

bought Josh Groban's first CD! very nice very nice. hmm... also pre bought Taufik's album. that's my christmas presents from my parents. very nice very nice very nice.

i shall save up to buy CK's eternity moment. and Hugo Boss's Shimmer. hey, it's really nice cos i had this sales girl try to sell it to me. she asked me to NETS it but i don't possess a NETS. thank goodness for that because if i had, i would surely be in debt. too bad.

tried my hand at doing the math. i hate trigo because the angles are really killing me. i really can't remember how to do. i was so proud of being able to do the first sigma question but then onward, i just had no idea how to do. then my head started to hurt so i decided to stop after doing the first complex number question. or rather, it was more of attempting to do it. feels terrible knowing that math really can kill. my poor brain cells.

feel quite tired these few days. i really need more money. i also need to re pack my room. and read my french revolution was not inevitable stupid library book that i did not borrow out for a spot of light reading in case you were wondering. no time. cos i like to spend whatever time i have watching tv or slacking around listening to 98.7 for "that's what friends are for" that the idol finalists sang. and all the christmas songs. band aid 20 is surprisingly good.

oh speaking of SI, do you know that LIME has this picture in the Jan issue of Taufik and Sly together? and it's the part where the results were announced and they hug. and they kind of look... like they're kissing. no kidding. Sly's shorter, i think. and really, don't kill me cos this is just an observation, but you can almost imagine it... oh my god. stop thinking about it! okay, it's actually quite cool. oh what am i saying. i shall say it again, i love the top 3!

SPONGEBOB SQUAREPANTS has a movie! fantastic! i used to say he was a yellow evil square. but he's not. he's great for hours of mindless... fun? we hafta watch it! we must! his laughter just cracks me up. i sincerely believe Jian Yong will try to watch it as many times as he can. if not, he'll get the pirated version or something before the movie comes out and watch and watch and watch it.

i want to go and straighten my hair. again. my parents can't see the difference but i can tell the difference when i used Jing's straightener. too bad it's not permanent. or else i go and buy my own set. will "straighten" the hair again before going for the christmas service. i tell you, it's like a miracle cos the fringe doesn't curl up so much and it falls so nicely... across my eyes. and it doesn't hide it. so it's quite ok. and the ends... DON"T CURL UP ANYMORE. oh... what i always wanted. i don't want it too straight so i don't want to rebond, plus i've got to be careful it doesn't dry my already super dry hair. so it's quite alright now. it looks soft! looks.

i'm feeling hungry. just had 2 strawberries. they're very sweet... naturally sweet. not sure what i feel like eating. i shall just imagine because i know i should not be eating so soon before i go to bed. then cannot sleep i blame myself.

went out with YY and Sonya today. caught a movie and then had mudpies at NYDC. pretty good but i think even though we ordered 3 different ones, they all tasted kinda similar. haha. or maybe i'm not pro enough to spot the difference. saw pictures of Sonya in france. and YY was showing the photos of the motorshow and her NZ trip to me. almost drooled at the cars.

talked quite a bit, went to HMV to find my Clay Aiken CD. almost fainted because there really isn't any other copies of it unless you reserved it. crap. i should have bought it earlier when i saw it before the guides camp at heartland. YY was debating whether to buy the Return of the King soundtrack or the Queen of the Damned soundtrack. she ended up buying the LOTR one. missed them both.

i have decided that my christmas present will not be Clay's CD as i am obviously not fated to get it before christmas this year. so i'll be getting Maksim Variations or Josh Groban's first CD or a CD by Hillsong.

going to exchange presents with CCD tomorrow. can't wait. might as well say what i bought for them. CDs for Glad and Jing. some harry potter bookmarks for Siyi. they're really nice. i'm really nice. heehee.

okay, i'm high on chocolate.

somehow i'm feeling very stressed out over the christmas season. dunno why. perhaps it's because after my hols i know that 2005, no matter how excited i am over the new year and being a J2 to lord it over the J1s (wicked me!), it's also the As. somehow the long year's passed by in a flash. some moments it seemed to drag extra long but it speeded like a bullet train at others. (especially when i was having fun) depressing thought. my untouched homework, the history essays, the lack of studying. feel like crap. feeling like crap is not fun. not at all.

i wonder why i don't feel pretty. no one ever said i was pretty. oh... this is just too weird. my brain's in a haze so i can't really understand what i'm doing or thinking. Sly has pretty hair. YY has pretty hair. everyone who has hair that's softer than mine has pretty hair. i don't have pretty hair too. it curls and can't be soft. nyagagdh. oh well. i got a nice nose. Ming and Amanda said so. i got nice fingers too because they're longer than other people's. thanks to piano playing! ignore me cos i think the chocolate's affecting my brain. plus, it's past midnight so my brain is reacting to lack of sleep.

oh, Sam just said i'm pretty. but that could be cos i asked her. asked if i was pretty. she said she meant it and i believe her. cos she said a guide is loyal and can be trusted. and a guide is self disciplined in what she thinks says and does. she's a good guide. cheered me up. heehee. i shall pay the compliment back by saying she's pretty, it's not just the legs you know. haha. and she's smart. really. i mean it too because i'm a good girl guide. ok, i feel pretty now. night night. kissy kissy.

i love you all, you know.

even thru the alcoholic haze.

chocolate rum and rasin high.

i once wrote that it would be a miracle if i got my wish. i do believe in miracles and that is all that is needed: faith and the ability to believe. miracles can come true but the thing is that they only come true if you truly believe. most of the time we just say we believe in miracles but deep in our hearts, we question the inevitability of such a miracle occuring. God makes miracles come to pass, but He won't always give us what we're asking for. it's not that He doesn't want us to be happy, but He knows what's best for us. and what may be best for us, may NOT be the miracles we are hoping for. however, it IS hard to believe all the time and God knows that... and He doesn't condemn us when we need a break... yup. it's okay to complain about life being unfair, but know that through everything God will be with us each and every way.

i do believe God makes miracles.
Don't think of doing little things when God has thought of us doing great things for Him.

christmas is coming. and i haven't got my present from my parents. i didn't ask for anything expensive, my mum specifically told me no ipod much to my disappointment, haha. but i asked for Clay Aiken's christmas album but it's not that cost that prevents me from getting it but it's sold out at almost every CD shop i've been to. Shall go to HMV. if they don't have it, i'll scream. with sheer disbelief.

but let me tell you what i really really want. CK's Eternity Moment. have you smelt the new Armani one? really nice too.

oh yes, the issue of alcohol on christmas. hooray for that!

merlot- do you know it has the aroma of toffee and chocolate, besides the plum, orange and tea aromas?
pinot noir- i love the colour... the red's are really very pretty
chardonnay- really great white wine, kinda fruity flavour, and when it's aged in oak, there's taste of vanilla... and er, i can't remember what else.
sauvignon blanc- woah, this wine is pretty good for a white but i still prefer chardonnay so i don't know much about this one

yup, that's basically the 4 types of wine that are more common and that i really like. and yes, the info was not something i ripped off online but what i know of the wine from tasting. behold my knowledge.

looking forward to days of fun, relaxation and good conversation, with great food...

going to orchid country club on sunday to have penang buffet. my mum's idea. she loves eating penang food. well, i shall see if i will like it, but it does sound quite good and i think i'm going to drool.

you toss and turn in restless sleep
as i look and watch from high above
smile because i can feel you
can sense your pain my presence brings

you cannot run or hide from my touch
but the truth is further than you imagine
because it is me that cannot escape
not you never you

your blood your soul drowns me
in the flames of endless searching
you kill me slowly patiently
and patience is always rewarded

slightly weird. doesn't rhyme and means... what exactly?
just jumbled up thoughts in my head as i struggle to comprehend what my mind knows but has yet to really process.
know something else?
i'm beginning to hate myself.
maybe hate is too strong a word. dis-satisfied.
wonder if my confidence is really a mask?

enough! it's more than enough, what i'm doing to myself.
it's too out of character.
but perhaps predictability really has gone out of style.

killing me softly with your smiles

i am a lazy bum. pretty much so. sad as it is, one must face up to the reality that we only have 3 weeks or so left until the gates of hell open once again to welcome you into what is innocently disguised as school. i should have borrowed the "what is history" book from the vj library before the school hols. now i'm paying for it. by really paying. i think i might buy it at any rate seeing how it actually seems to be quite interesting reading.

went out with Eileen yesterday. do you know how happy i was when she, last year, during the PGA camp, asked me to stay in the same tent as her? normally people don't do that, (even if they were given a chance), simply because i'm the kind that does the "how many hours to end of camp" kind of thing. it was a simple thing but it's a memory i'll always treasure. and now, it's just so easy being with her, just 2 of us, walking, shopping and eating. really enjoyed yesterday.

Quek wrote an entry that had me thinking. and seriously, it reminded me of what Sonya used to say to me, that she was in need of interllectual conversation and she would talk to me. direct compliment? though i sometimes feel upset that we don't speak enough sometimes, just like with YY, because we're all so busy, they're the ones who make me smile most of the time, along with those whom i'm close to. tone of voice can tell you the truth, but they can also tell you what you want to hear. our hearts, our emotions, may try to justify the tone, the actions. either that or the oblivious nature of certain people make it difficult for any thing to get through.

in general, i feel tired. there's this lack of energy around that can be solved through....

SONGS! where would life be without music? (okay, it didn't really solve my tiredness, sleep can't too because i'm plagued with stupid nightmares, but it did perk me up!)

Everlasting Love by Jamie Cullum
I Dream by Taufik and Sylvester

you know the final results and they sang the song together? it's playing on my computer now! and i really must say, Sly's I dream is fantastic! and i must also say that he really is endearing. talent wise... perhaps not so, in comparision to Taufik, but if he can grow on even me, then... it's something all right. i think his smile can make me melt. it's just so... 2 different people, 2 different styles. i think i really love the final three. Olinda, Sylvester, and Taufik... let's all scream together!

okay, see, i knew it would perk me up. must get the album by Taufik!! *smiles*

going out with my mum and sis later. we're going to get our christmas shopping done and my sister just wants to go to Marche to eat. that girl arh, keeps on talking about the rosti, the crepes and the soft shell crab that i wanna tell her to knock it off before i drool but it's too late. dunno if my mum will like it though. makes me feel guilty that we're spending her money but she says money is to be spent and as long as we're happy today and there's no fighting or punching or bad words, she's fine with it. hahas. somehow, she can be quite stingy in spending money on food, not like dad, but on clothes and books, she's quite okay with it. even encourages it. hahas, i'm lucky my parents complement each other. should be quite fun, but everytime we go clothes shopping together, my sis likes to insert her comments and then she tries on the clothes i tried on for fun, and she ruins the whole effect by making the outfit look rather punk like. it's the hair. ruins it! then i don't want to buy it anymore.

anyway, she was like "Taufik all the way! Olinda too!" she even admitted she may be bias against Sly. then, my mum said that her hair is flopping over her face like Sly and she went, oh no, must go cut now! effective huh? and my hair... it really needs a trim, either that or a straightening.

i really love guys who can sing and play a musical instrument, especially if they play something like the piano. seeing their fingers pressing lightly on the white and black keys... sheer magic.

i wonder if this is called false happiness? because even though i'm smiling and stuff, somehow i still feel that melancholy. irritating. i wish it'll go away. i don't see it having a place here.

Love you guys.

mood: *contemplative*

life really isn't fair. it holds all the cards in its tightly fisted hands and refuses to let go. at times, when it feels benevolent, it will give out A card... smiling all the while like a wise ruler giving out the sacred knowledge that the people of the kingdom have long sought for.

well, who am i to complain really. after all, perhaps what i have is already what someone else wants, and what i want, may be what someone else has. vicious cycle. life is that way, no real smooth sailing for anyone no matter how perfect a person may envision their life to be.

i may be down in the dumps again. i seemed to have visited it quite frequently recently. what with Sonya and YY not being around, i go around reading their emails they've sent me in the past, and i just plain miss them. yes, i can survive on my own without them but i miss them all the same.

anyhow, i was just thinking. see, it's almost been 10 months. yup, 10 months. and i'm no closer to forgeting than i was 6 months ago. at first, it barely registered in my mind, and i wasn't even aware of it. someone else had to point it out for me to see, and there it was. lurking there, probably smiling happily to itself knowing that it would plague my mind in the months to come. and it's not as if i haven't made the effort to push it back into the recesses of my mind.

and i would think to myself, why? what was it that held my attention so? grasped it so that i couldn't let go although i learnt to live with it? and everytime i go over each incident, i would be convinced that i was previously mad, but then go back thinking fondly of past times. or whatever of past times you may choose to call those memories.

i wanted it so badly i could taste it. and it really intensified before June? not sure when really. and i thought about it constantly, wishing desperately that dreams could come true. but it didn't. and though i knew from the beginning it would be a miracle if i got my wish, i still haboured thoughts about it. and even now, i still wish.

wishes are dreams... when you wish upon a star.

of course it doesn't plague my mind all the time, not now. not so much, still there's a whisper of that stirring sometimes. no one can forget, no one is really devoid of those precious memories. they really, as i've said countless of times, make us who we are. and that is too true for this incident.

and i smile, knowing that my friends are there to bring me out of this funk that i'm in. i don't do it on purpose, nor do i try to do it all the time. it's just there. and while i may not be looking forward to each day with a smile, i do have hope at what the next day will bring. there's always room for hope and faith, no matter how small it may be.

and yes, the funk thing. it seems more of a melancholy type of feeling, a wishing, wondering type of feeling. i won't say i'm satisfied, but more of something else that i can't put my finger on. life for me, is what you make of it. wishes and dreams, they're but part of the equation. friends, they're the chocolate chips in the cookies of life.

i'm not as perfect as the next person, but who says we can't try to be?

time to go to bed, time for another new day, time for the lost hope/faith to come home as the cycle begins anew

i shall do a nonsensical post again today, and if i feel like it, throw in some super chim sounding words that would clog up someone's brain.

homework seems to be at the back of my mind but whenever i'm slacking or in my own words, recuperating from camp, it manages to weasel its way and scramble all my happy thoughts. this camp thing is a very good excuse because truthfully, i really still am recuperating. what else could explain the continuous sleeping like a log?

christmas is coming, and i almost expect to see little flurries of snow floating dreamingly down from the sky but that never happens. i never give up hope to see those pretty flakes-- in another country that is. present buying is sometimes infuriating when there are simply too many people blocking your path and touching you. contact with people i don't know is just... disturbing. this coming from the touchy feely person that i am. why can't people just stay at home???

digressing. i should have saved more money, started earlier. presents for everyone but me??!! i think i have enough for myself to spend on Clay's christmas album which is a must must for my christmas. i just need another 60 odd bucks to buy CK's eternity moment. nonetheless, i understand the materialism of everything here and should remember the real meaning of christmas. tsk tsk.

christmas while fun, can be a hard to get through season for me simply because there's lots of good food. and when i forget myself, alcohol. all the pretty reds and whites. simply breathtaking. i'm not sure what's going to happen when i turn 18. and please, put away the shocked looks, i can hold my drink pretty well and would never become one of those you see throwing up on the sidewalk. really. because i've seen the excesses of drinking and it really ain't pretty.

oh yeah, plus the expectations of family members, which include relatives. 25 dec, late morning, christmas service kicks off with "hark the herald angel" which brings me back to my childhood days when i performed 2 years in a row that same musical. really treasure those memories.

i think i'll end off here when i'm feeling all soft and happy. i need to shop!

you are my sunshine
that lights my life
you are the rain
that clouds my mind

Ms Heng's wedding. she looked beautiful, very happy... sounds corny but you could just feel the radiance that was lighting up her face. maybe it's been a while since i've actually attended a wedding but it's true what they say about brides... all that happiness and the glow...

i must say that i am a little behind times. after the idol mania and dec 1, then i started going mad. nah, i'm just watching and rewatching videos of their performances online. seems such a sweet thing that after all this time, the idols have gained so much more than fame... because they're friends as well. aww... and i keep on watching Benjamin Eio cos i can't seem to find "You to Me" anywhere. grr. i think his smile can make me melt. and Chris too! and Sly is actually... growing on me.

Listening to Jay Chou right now. i like the melody, but he should make his words clearer. that's all. if not, he'll be a really really good artist to listen to. he's good, but you know what i mean.

"and taufik and sly are damm funny too. theres one point when we dunno walked down the stage wrongly or something sly shook his finger at us and went ORH HOR.... ahahhaha super funny. and like to practice the whole thing rite gurmit announced taufik the winner. this is wad happened.

gurmit:taufik wad do u have to saw for urself?
taufik: xie xie ni.
gurmit: taufik noes chinese? is this really taufik?(gurmit does the action of pulling off taufiks mask)
gurmit: gasp! its really sylvester?(taufik does sylvesters signature point to the camera scrunch up face look.(gurmit looks at real sly)(sly dances the slidy legs thingy dat taufik always does)
gurmit: (turns to real sly) sly. u din win. u suck. do u have anything to say for urself.
sly: i suck."
-from Lucas's blog.

some stuff from Lucas is really very funny. hope he won't mind if i take this funny part from his blog and copy it... he and VJ choir sang at the finals.. how cool is that?

camp. over.

2 words that totally ROCK MY WORLD man.

okay, let's do one of my famous recaps. camp wasn't that bad. if i wasn't so tired at the end of it, i don't think it was bad. in fact, i'll go as far as to say that i enjoyed it. the first day was rather disorganised but the next few days were much better planned, everyone better informed and the programme rather interesting. at first, i was a little down thinking that hey, maybe we screwed up big time but after hearing what the campers enjoyed and their experience at the camp, it was a sense of elation that we pulled it off.

you should have heard Weemin at the end of it all. she was practically whining. or maybe it wasn't exactly that but we were dead tired and we still had to help Ms Gwee sort out stuff. i was almost hysterical. i wanted to go home and sleep. 4 hours a day of sleep only can really kill a person.

i'm proud of what we did. seriously. through the camp there was learning, both for me and for the campers. such a sense of achievement. my sister and i were discussing it rather enthusiatically after it ended and we were better rested. there are definitely people that have wowed me with their ability to lead and to participate. i think camp is a great opportunity to see how a person copes. i'm proud of Aixin and Jolene. Jolene wasn't the PS for this camp but i've even more faith in her ability to lead Mynah.

maybe you guys don't see it or know it, but Jolene... she really is something. she really took the initiative and my sister commented that she and Jolene seemed to be co-PSes. we even celebrated her birthday during the campfire thanks to her good friends who actually asked me if they could have a cake for her. and cos i spend more time with Unicorn and Triton, i loved the way they worked together almost as one patrol instead of two. and yes, this camp really made me notice certain people.

Gladys was there with me for all 4 days. camp... there were bad points, there were good. won't go really in depth but i'd like to thank everyone who helped out and everyone who participated. urban hike, outdoor cooking... everything, these memories will stay with me for a long time to come. you guys rock my world. i think i'm also kinda hyper now. whoohoo.

Taufik won. but i still like Olinda better. haha. Sly isn't that bad. his "i dream" was really good. oh, Tong, you got good taste! my fellow supporter of Oli. and i actually announced the winner of Singapore Idol on the second day of camp cos my dad called me. you should have heard the silence when my handphone rang. :)

kinda tired now cos the hyperness is wearing off but i'll continue later with Ms Heng's wedding!

oh yeah, thanks WM and Quek. we rock, duncha agree?